maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
