In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
