u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize