also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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