It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
