This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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