Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
