I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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