evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
