he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
