i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
