how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
