i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
