i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is not my ceiling
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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