about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
