no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
