Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
