she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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