Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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