Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
