When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
