Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
