spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
