"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
