Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
