used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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