hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
