Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
