She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
