i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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