you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Even my vagina gasped.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize