there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
