Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
