you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize