butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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