the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
