I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize