what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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