And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
