Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize