i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
