I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
