How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
