I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
