I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
