Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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