If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
3pm strippers are depressing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
