Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
