Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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