is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
