you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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