thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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