You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
