Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
