Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize