I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
