ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
