The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
