you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
did i walk over a car last night?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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