No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
