i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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