I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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