You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
