All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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