I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
