and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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