3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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