lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
